Book Review: When Mom and Dad Seperate, Children Can Learn to cope With Grief From Divorce

Heegaard, Marge. Illustrations to be done by children. “When Mom and Dad Separate, Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief From Divorce”. Minneapolis MN: Woodland Press. 1991.

Marge Heegaard, author of “When Mom and Dad Separate, Children Can Learn to Cope With Grief From Divorce”, has created a book that can be used by children in order to reflect on their own situation and illustrate on each page as a way to write a personal story about how divorce affected them and what they still have despite the separation of their parents. Heegard was a step mother and wrote this book for her step son because he was so tentative to discuss his feeling with her. She thought that he would benefit from this unique format because he loved to draw and being able to illustrate your own feelings took the focus off the intimate and personal questions. As the book begins the reader is introduced to the idea that change is part of life such as a caterpillar turning into a butterfly and the sun sets and the moon rises. The students are asked to draw how they have changed from being a baby, to now, to when they grow up. Heegaard goes on to list ideas about what can go wrong in a marriage and what a divorce entails. This book is full of question for children to think about and offers room for them to illustrate their answers. This allows the child to work though their own feelings and, when talking is often hard to do, they have space to draw their emotions and ideas. Although, the book appears to be just white pages with black writing, it is the only opportunity a child may have to personally question their feelings and ideas about a divorce and reflect on the affects that have come about from the separation between parents. Due to the fact that the book depends on the reader’s personal experience it can not be used by students who have not been personally affected by divorce. However, for those who have dealt with divorce this is not just a book; rather, this is a tool that can be used in the process of healing and adjusting to the new life that a child will live in a single-parent home.